Pith and Vigor

I'm sure this is making the rounds, so apologies if you've seen this catalogue of zingers already, but some of them are so delicious, I simply haaaaad to post them.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said,
"If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he
said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will
either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable
disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether
I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the
vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest
about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many
obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send
a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about
Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come
from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William
Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll
waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea
of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter
saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his
friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my
new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." -
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend
second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in
response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like
having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -
John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's
nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of
dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation
won't cure." Jack E. Leonard "He has the attention
span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from
the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always
yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -
Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there look ing like an envelope
without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the
stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others,
whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses
lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." -
Andrew Lang
(1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this
wasn't it." - Groucho Marx