SAGE COUNSEL FOR UNCERTAIN TIMES

for Art Moore

Listen to wisdom. Ignore bum advice.

Bad plan to borrow. Likewise to lend.

Don’t wear jackboots when you’re crossing thin ice.

Spend what you get and get what you spend.

Steer clear of the poor. Don’t piss off the rich.

If the glass is half empty, drink it quick.

Keep your stick up and your pickup out of the ditch.

Feed on the healthy, abandon the sick.

Don’t leave any gas when you siphon the tank.

Take out insurance on your aging mother.

Win the lottery. Hold up a bank.

Buy her down pillows in hopes that she smother.

Don’t fight a war on more than one front.

And never kick a gift horse in the cunt.